Get out of my nose and mouth lil froggy, I have already married my Prince Charming!

Hey everyone!  How's it going with everyone?  We are at week two of my lil man being in kindergarten and I have finally accepted it!  Actually, I now look forward to taking my lil man to school.  It is nice to see him out learning and playing with friends and not sitting at home playing video games and complaining that he is bored.  He now insists that I drop him off in the school line instead of walking with him inside.  It's kinda bittersweet, but it's nice to not have to get Corbin out of his carseat and so forth.  And I love when I pick him up he is so excited and gives me a big hug and tells me about his day. 

Today I managed to completely embarrass myself in the school line right after I dropped him off.  I pulled down my sun visor and a baby froggy jumped out and up my left nostril!  I freaked!  I HATE FROGS (they are kinda cute but I like them at a distance... far from me and NOT UP MY NOSE AND IN MY MOUTH!).  I start screaming and I blow out my nose and he got on my lower lip and my tongue touched it!!!!!  I threw open my door and screaming and waving my arms I finally swapped the lil froggy off me and out of my car!  I felt a warm trickle down my legs and realized the bladder gate opened.  I pissed my pants!!!!  I tried to not look at people who just witnessed this embarrassing scene, but the carload next to me pulling into the school had their windows down and the screeching laughter of school age kids and a loud horn and piss running down my leg I could feel the red heat in my face and ears.  I just turned around and waved and said "It was a frog... in my car.  It got on me." and got in my van, put on my glasses and drove on.  Corbin kept saying "You okay momma?  You okay?"  I love my kids dearly and the leaky bladder when I scream, laugh, walk, jump, or run is almost worth it.  How sad is it that I am a 34 yr old woman and a mother of two boys is still scared pissless of a lil froggy?!?!?!?  

When I was a little girl, I was so scared of frogs!  We lived in a forested neighborhood in Mississippi for a short time when I was little.  Come dusk time, those frogs came out of nowhere!  Kids in the neighborhood knew I was scared of them and they tormented with frogs constantly.  I will never forget being at my vampire friend's house (the girl bit me all the time) and didn't make it home in time before dusk.  I was running down the street and saw several frogs (or toads.  I can't really remember... they are the same if you ask me!) and I just froze in my tracks!  I just stood in the middle of the street and SCREAMED!  My dad came running out and ran down the street to save me from the mean ol' dirty frogs/toads.  I love Kermit the Frog, but real frogs/toads?  I think not.  Now if I see one, I don't scream and cry anymore.  But if one jumps, my heart leaps, my bladder leaks, and I let out a yelp.  My sister... Oh, Cheryl!  You tormented me the most!  She was my #1 tormentor.  She would pick them up and chase me all over the place with one!  Several times, she would be an ornery lil shit and cup her hands and say "Look what I have!" and send my ass haulin and hidin.  Then she wouldn't have anything in her hands.  I love you, sis, but you were MEAN!  LOL

Anyways, later on I walk into the bathroom and I felt something squishy under my foot.  I thought it was one of those lil sticky hands that kids get in a bubble gum machine. I lifted my foot and didn't see anything on the floor and I looked at my foot... AND there... on my right foot... a smooshed baby froggy was stuck to my heel!!!!!!  AAAACCCCCKKKKKK!  Yes, I pissed my pants again.  (YES I DO KEGALS!  Kegals work great for sex but don't work for shit for my bladder!)  Let me tell you what!  I have no idea how the hell a frog got inside my house but if frogs know better now, they should stay far away from me!  Let me tell ya, lil froggy did not want to come off my foot.  It was soooooooooooooo gross!  I had to scrape him off my foot into the toilet!  He's in toilet heaven now.  It was as bad as stepping on a slug!  Man, just reliving this scene gives me the heebie jeebies!!!!  

Well, I have to get the kids down to bed.  I am so tired tonight.  I might watch the DNC for shits and giggles.  But nahhh... I have had my fill of toads and frogs for a day.  LOL

Laters my boosom bloggin buddies!  I need my beauty rest and cuddle time with my bebes!